Welcome to our Frequently Asked Questions, here you will find a mix of the serious and the insane. We leave it up to you to decide which is which…

Who is NeroQom?

We’re the leading International Glass Metal Maintenance Expert for Prestigious Buildings & Superyachts. Bit fancy? Okay, we like to Clean, Restore & Protect, it’s a thing we do. Still a bit vague, huh? Okay, last try … we’re architects in high-end maintenance against damage, aesthetic degradation and contamination. Yeah, that’s about right.

What is the biggest challenge in being the best?

The imitators, it’s got so bad we’ve copyrighted all of our text and images. Honestly, some people will steal ANYTHING. And on the internet? Who would have thought! Anyway, if YOU are thinking about “borrowing” any of our work, you might want to check out the  terms and conditions  for this website. Just saying.

How long has NeroQom been around?

Quite a while. We‘ve been around since the prestige building industry and superyacht manufacturing really took off. We’ve been doing this since 2001, which is a pretty long time when you think about it.

What does NeroQom do?

Well, how long have you got ?! But, I mean, you’re on the website, it’s all on here. I’d recommend you have a quick read. Oh, and  here. It’s worth it, we spent AGES writing this. Seriously. A long time.

I’ve seen that you did something amazing for a project similar to mine. It’s on your website. So, you can do that for me too, right?

In theory, yes. In practice, we’ll see. The work you see here is our best work, the stuff we’re really proud of. If your project is similar to one we’ve done it before, then we should be able to do yours too, let’s talk about it and work out the details. Knowing that every project is different is one of the greatest strengths of our ADAPTS strategy. So, let’s have a coffee, chat and take a look at your options. We make no promises until we know all the information.

How do you know you have the right solution?

Other companies use trial and error to learn. We complete research and development, so, unlike some we don’t test our ideas with your investment. NeroQom completes extensive, real-world assessment of all our products and techniques before we bring them to you. This ensures that your project won’t be our learning curve.

Does NeroQom have a base in Italy?

Well, yes, we do.

We have offices in The Netherlands, Belgium and Italy. Throughout Europe we solve the hardest problems. In Italy our Southern European Superyacht Office is in a country house which is about 500 years old. Situated in the middle of Livorno and Marseille to service lots of Northern European manufactured yachts.

It’s an outdoor paradise really. The country house is part of a royal family owned estate, surrounded with many olive trees, fruit trees… it’s really quite pretty. You should visit. … Maybe try one of the downhill biking events? We’ll have a coffee and take in the view. It’ll be nice. I mean, it’s not like a date or anything, let’s not make this weird, okay?

That said, the food is amazing, the sun beams down, you’ll find a smile on everyone’s face. And the coffee? Giovannacci Cafe! It might even be better than the coffee at HQ*. You’ll see what we mean.

(*Don’t tell George Clooney we said that, he’s very sensitive about his coffee)

If NeroQom is all about the Research and development, what type of research do you do with your products?

We conduct our tests all over the place. Many products and techniques are only tested in a lab on one material and it’s “good enough” to sell. We disagree.

The thing is, any project we work on will be subjected to the real-world. The one with rain, wind, pollution, sea air, graffiti, different materials… so many things which need to be considered. So, we test in the real-world. All over the world. We’ve treated materials and then left them submerged in water for months or baking in the sun or generally been mean to them to see what happens. From the Alps to the Mediterranean, we’ve been all over the place testing our techniques and products.

We don’t want to find out what happens with our methods on your building after they’re on. We want to know before you even call us. That’s why we do extensive testing of everything we use and do, and it’s also why we always get the results we expect.

What’s one of the strangest business stories you ever heard?

It’s about another company. In the office they had many fish. The most famous was called Elvis (“vis” being Dutch for fish). Sadly, Elvis passed away. As did the other fish. We heard the last fish met it’s end in mysterious circumstances. They are conducting a full investigation. Nothing is confirmed, but they have many suspicions. We’d love to help, but it’s not really our area.

Are you cleaners?

No, sorry. We love cleaners, they’re great people. The good ones work with us to keep the world beautiful. The bad ones are some of the most frequent sources of business for us; they damage it, we fix it.

What we do is beyond making something wet and dry again. We use our ADAPTS strategy to deliver results which simple cleaning never can.

We’re less cleaners and more… the Restorers of New. No. The New Fairy? Wow, no. We’re more like magicians, so… Gandalf with a pressure washer maybe? You know what? We’re the NeroQom Squad. That says it all.

How can I mail the person in charge?

We don’t have a person in charge. We’re an egalitarian, communist commune of like-minded individuals who each have an equal say. Or so the boss tells me.

Alternatively, all of our email addresses are the persons first name @NeroQom.com, so as long as they gave you their real first name, you can contact them.

I notice you’re not part of “xyz” association, why is that?

We love what we do, so we’d rather be doing our job than talking about it. Plus, we don’t really see the benefit for you. Paying to have a sticker on the side of our vans and website isn’t as important as the results we bring to our clients. Judge us by the projects we’ve completed, not the industry associations we’ve paid to be in.

The only stickers we use are the ones we need to ensure a safe working environment. After all, those are really the only ones which matter. Things like IPAF and VCA, those have value to us.

I find the new Star Wars films to be less satisfying and poorly structured by comparison to the original three. Why is this?

It’s not Star Wars, it’s you. You were younger when the original three movies came out and you still loved life so you were more forgiving. Now that you’re old, you feel sad more often, and are easily disappointed by new movies.

If you’re a real fan, the boss has a dog who looks like Yoda. But his name is James. It’s very confusing.

Top tip for successful maintenance?

The best results come from long-term relationships. Why? Because it lets us control and correct as we go along. This helps us know your project so that we can proactively deal with issues before you even notice them.

We’re finding more and more clients like working this way, so they call us before there’s a problem. It saves time, money and trouble. Who doesn’t want that? After all, failing to prepare is preparing to fail, or so we’re told!

Where does your cleaning lady come from?

Budel. It’s our mum. She doesn’t give us pocket money if the office is too untidy.

Where are your favorite cat gifs, like, ever?

here. 

Would you like to see the stone flooring in my new kitchen?

It depends, does it need maintenance?

If so, we know someone who’d love to help. But it’s a bit small for us. That said, you know what’s not small? Our network. So, even if we can’t help, we probably know someone who can. We’re really very useful like that.

What’s your favourite quote from Shakespeare?

To be or not… er… that one. It’s really quite clever. Discusses some interesting ideas about the human condition and stuff. You should totally read it.

Are there any clients you’d never work with?

Our wannabe competitors. I mean, I know they’re the ones who need the most help but… I prefer spending time with real clients who need help making things beautiful…

Is there a God?

Well, that’s a long conversation and will require more coffee, but, in short? Yes. No… Yes and no for some people. Except for when it comes to what we do, then yes, there’s NeroQom!

Why have you got to be such a smartass?

If you’ve got a gift it would be a shame to waste it. Right?

May I kiss the bride?

Only if she wants you to. Oh, and if you’re going to, check your breath. Give your teeth a clean too. We can’t help there either!

What is the secret of creativity?

In the morning? Coffee. Lots of coffee. After lunch? Bubbles.

Does your Squad know how to work in ABC specific environment?

Specific? Yes, our Mums taught us the best manners… oh and we’ve been doing this since 2001 so we know what to do and when to do it. Just check out our sector pages for more information or drop us a line if you have very specific needs.

But in general, we work in banks, hospitals, petrochemical facilities, train stations, hotels, villas, airports, shopping centers and on superyachts. We ‘ve got all the plans, paperwork and documents necessary to do the job. Crucially, we’ve also got the experience too. Good, eh?